Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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