I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
