I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
