We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
