What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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