I need help removing her.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize
