I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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