He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
