I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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