I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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