I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
