; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
