yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
