Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
