she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
