I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
this hospital has no fireball
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
