Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize
