3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
