Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
