butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
