yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
