Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Found your dick twin last night
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
