I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
