giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I am one with the molecules
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
