I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
