hotel room ftw
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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