I think I died a long time ago.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
