I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
he had hair everywhere except his balls
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