I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I've blown a few things in my day
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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