How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
