Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Randomize
