i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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