Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
