Non-Jews are for practice
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
