shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
So. Much. Porn.
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