real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I want to make a zoo with you.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
