sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
