He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
