Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
