Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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