and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
The power of my boobs compel you
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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