I must be too annoying 4 u.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
