Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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