Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
