make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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