How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
