so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
