Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm just crazy horny about you
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
