hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Welp...herpes.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
