I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
