Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
