Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
