There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
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