why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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